Is your name Jeronimo Garcia?

Check this out! I totally designed a tattoo for you. What do you think?? It's gonna look so badass!! I spent a long time on it. the red background is just an estimation of the tone of your enflamed skin -- yeah, there will be some swelling and stuff. Pretty routine, though. Don't even worry about it. And here's the best part -- I will totally do it myself! Fuck yeah! I bought a tattoo gun on the internet. It was only $30! Dude, stop giving me that look! Is sanitation really that important? Do you always act this nervous around needles? Yes, this is my only needle -- it's totally fine though! I've done this tons of times. At least one time -- plus I've watched a lot of MTV. And look -- I gave myself this octopus tattoo with it! Hella sick, huh?! And once the bleeding stops it's gonna look fucking awesome. Hey - hey. Come on. this is art, and sometimes you have to suffer for art.

Whoa. I think my contact just slipped out. Fuck. Whatever, I'll find it later.

Hold still.