Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head

Mrs. Potato: We’ve been having problems for a while now.

Mr. Potato: Yeah, since the kids sprouted off, we don’t have much in common any more. I like to watch the NFL and she likes to lay face down in the dirt in her apron for hours on end.

Mrs. Potato: He drinks too much beer. It’s starting to show. Why can’t you be skinny like the French?

Mr. Potato: Excuse me, Doreen? Are you talking about the French Fries you see in those ads on TV? How am I supposed to live up to those kind of standards, they’re completely artificial!

Ms. Potato: They look real enough to me.

Mr. Potato: It’s an absolute farce, the whole thing, and it’s just disturbing what these potatoes will do to themselves just for the sake of an image! Do you even know how they get to look like that?

Mrs. Potato: Don’t be silly, Allen, the French never share their secrets.

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