See You Later, Alligator

The time has come for a new header. We must say goodbye to the drunken alligator laughter and move on to the quiet contemplation of a fish.

Past headers: Wally, Fat Angels

what are you looking at?

Oh, right. No, don't be silly. This isn't my natural hair color. It turns this color from all the scum and algae.

explaining to an Alaskan why his reptile-themed care package is arriving late.

story of an art show

i made some things, it took many a day

in this little room, in quite a strange way

and now they're in this other room, 

in this wonderful cafe!

The end.

The Part

In my movie,

i want you to play an alligator.

scales, brownish green slimey flesh.. you're perfect for the part

Looong rows of sharp yellow teeth.

a sly eye and a nosey sneer.

in the movie you keep your babies in your mouth

it’s a morning like any other – doing errands,

you run to the bank to deposit some checks.

as you walk up to the counter you engage in polite conversation with the bank lady.

as you talk, your babies slither from your mouth and down your chin and your yellow sweater-set.

they climb all over the bank cashier lady as she talks to you

they get dirt all in her makeup, claw her skin

she pretends not to notice

she keeps smiling, and you see her pin reads : we guarantee flawless customer service.

goddamn, she's good

you think,

as one of your many children begins to nest and tear at her finely curled hair

i'm gonna stick with this bank

you think,

they've really got this down.

i am one satisfied customer.