The last two february firsts are pretty clear in my memory just because of my efforts to record them as a part of hourly comics day.
Two years ago I had just moved to Oakland. On February first I went on a first date with someone I ended up seeing for a while. I drew a panel or two about meeting him in my hourlies. Maybe I became distracted after the date, or something else came up, but I didn't finish my hourlies and don't remember anything else from that day. Months later, when I was drawing comics about our breakup (only for therapeutic purposes), those hourly comics seemed so like, stupid and significant or something. I wasn't able to re-write our history (as is so commonly my impulse after a breakup). There was this paper trail I couldn't deny.
Last February first was a strange day. Or, it was a very typical day for me at that time, but it's strange to have that very forgettable, bleak period of my life be recorded in any way. For whatever reason I drove from Oakland to Santa Cruz. I guess it must've been just to hang out with Nick. I remember wandering aimlessly for hours, waiting around for him to get off work. There's no reason why I shouldn't have been able to do all my hourlies that day. In fact, they should've been amazing. I had nothing better to do. But I think I was so lost and bored and confused and seeing myself that way on paper only compounded those feelings.
This year I was determined to get it right. Or maybe I didn't even need to be determined. It was just right. Unlike the last couple, I'm really glad that this February first will stand out in my memory: