I am sure you have been wondering when you would be hearing from us. And aha! The time has come. I most genuinely invite you to join myself and my companions as part of The Greatest Show On Earth. I am sure you are wondering which of your many talents we shall make use of – and of couse, I’m sure you understand, you must work your way up the ranks.
I feel that you could be much appreciated as a monkey therapist for the first few months, as our apes become quite agitated in the springtime, and a calming voice is needed to soothe them and quiet their political rants and hormonal rages.
And from there we shall see which marvelous wonders and abilities emerge. As my colleague Doctor Ivan Yveske believes, in one’s quest for identity it is best to start with the apes, for it is with these creatures that humanity itself came to be.
Most Sincerely,
P. T. Barnum
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