My Calendar


  • get a giant roll of paper and lay it out down the length of the house. start at the top, list everything. just make a giant list of EVERYTHING. You can look at it later.
  • read the labels on all the food in the pantry and throw out everything that has sugar because apparently sugar is EVIL and you will NOT tolerate evil in this house.
  • immediately go buy a cookie and eat it somewhere that is not your house.
  • Try to memorize a poem and give up
  • Just give up in general
  • take a nap
  • Wake up and clean your room and decide This All Changes Now 
  • (it doesn't)
  • Begin to compose a letter to Woody Allen asking questions like, Just what exactly was it about your daughter that made you want to have her as your wife-daughter?
  • Cringe at your own audacity as it's none of your business. Plus, it's Woody Fucking Allen.
  • Swallow your gum
  • Wake up early, go about your morning
  • oh wow, that was all in your dream?
  • Wake up, go about your morning
  • keep going about your morning even though it's 2pm.
  • Oops I forgot to keep a Calendar the last two days. I've only had a Calendar for like 6 days. 
  • I don't really understand how to use it. It's like a sketchbook with lines and numbers. 
  • It's exactly like a sketchbook if you ignore the lines and numbers.

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